Waiting For No One

She blossoms madly
head to toes
shaken me with shivers of a heart
open in a flower cupped
in the fingers of a loving hand.
Snow white petals entangled with
Leaves and stems
Pierce the deep dark hole
in the sky with nothing
to hold back.

I must have forgotten, forgotten totally
This flower waiting for no one
Must have been waiting for ten years, and
another ten years
As I wasted my life, she waited
ten years, and
another ten years
without a word.
I thought I loved her
and passed her down from one hand
To another hand, in departure
I called this love.

I must have forgotten, forgotten totally
She has no mouth and can't utter a word
Except to accept
fate like an abandoned child
left by the corner of a window
Waited ten years, and
Another ten years
I thought she could have blossomed
for my father
on my behalf
Yet, she never did.

I was wrong, totally wrong
My father said,
“This is a Night Blooming Cereus without flower.”
She dropped her leaves, half wilted.
Waited ten years, and
Another ten years
Shivered
and waited for my mother
to proclaim,
"We need to cut the flower before dawn whenever she blossoms
and keep it in the refrigerator as remedy for asthma.”
Who could she blossom for
Except shivers.

I tried to plant my flower under the bamboos
Waiting for the birds,
Or grow my flower by the curb
Looking forward to the glance of every passerby,
Or, give her the ultimatum:
“You will be crushed and turned into manure if there is no more flower.”
She remains unmoved
by seduction, harassment, and loneliness
needing no reason
she blossoms for no one
always stands alone
wordless.

Abandoning the past
of glamour under spot lights, interviews
awards, fame, and extravagance
these were things unworthy
to look back. Departure
is not just departure
Passing down from one hand to another hand
love in transfer
Waited ten years, and
Another ten years
We missed each other in a transferred account
Melancholy turned
into dirt.

If love is tainted
with fear there are reasons.
Tonight, we find each other
And let me apologize with body and soul.
Tonight, let’s turn every night into
ten years with
ten times more tenderness.
Every time when she blossoms
Let her blossom madly to the one
She waited.
Don’t let fear
Occupies our life.
In paleness and helpless
we wait.
How many more ten years
Can we afford ?


2006/8/10, Hong Kong
(translated from original Chinese version into English 2006-08-22)
Photo: Night Blooming Cereus blossoms at Stephanie's garden)