敬輓

非親有義須當敬, 是友無情切莫交

感謝媽媽 (一)

接連幾晚陪老媽吃飯, 回家短聚, 沒幾天又要飛出去, 就像有外遇的男人, 更窩心家裡人, 覺得抱歉, 要做得好一點, 因為手上有一大堆計劃,留不下來。


她表達愛的方式很地道, 批評這批評那, “這魚腥, 不要叫魚腩 !”, “收茶費、小費、不如跟我去 X 記，人家什麽都不收 !” , “這衣服那麽貴, 綫還鬆脱。”……….
面對着不反駁，就像沒人接球, “對, 這價錢還差不多 !”
這是 “哦” 了四五個鐘頭後扯的白旗。


這是她可愛的地方, 沒有她, 我準沒有今天的好脾氣。在外面, 無論碰上什麽爛貨, 都可以找到優點, 這决定了我半生流浪, 到處都能適應的優越條件。


“你不用來 !”, “你不用買什麽 !” 我就會自動自覺天天去看她，給她帶東西。
我大半生在外國直來直去, 曾被這種中式的[正言若反]或[含蓄] 困惑, 她不理我, 我行我素不停訓練, 终於使我成為中西交流的顧問。


“你們不用等X總, 先吃 !” 國宴上中方說。 外方的行政總裁給我使眼色。
“你等上一個鐘頭也得等。”
“就說你們還不餓 !”


我最恨虚偽, 是老媽教懂我[和光同塵], 從此生活中再没有什麽 [看不順眼]的事 ! 反正跟對方換一個位置就是 !


“她自己不找你看病, 偏偏把你介绍给我 !”
“你老媽在你上廁所時這樣說 !” X 醫生事後跟我說。


“哦 ! 他不是來看病, 是我請他來吃晚飯 !” 我說。
“你有幾個小孩 ? 多大 ?” 她說。
“都上大學了 !” X 醫生說。
“哦 !”


“交個朋友嘛, 他愛吃, 你帶他去平、靚、正。”
“不要給名片, 寫嘛 ! 地址電話囉 !”


這是X醫生吃得最委屈的一頓飯, 像比武 !


連给找一個送上門的醫生都那麽苦心 !


交上我的朋友, 怎能不感謝我的媽媽 ?




April 11, 2007

誰與藏鋒 Subtlety of brush Strok Painting

                              老師傅留给我的筆
                        The brushes from the old master to me

(Read English translation below)

(給遺下一批畫筆给我的老師傅)
老師傅的畫筆
默默地等到塵封
念天地悠悠
看紅塵盡染
丹心一點
誰與藏鋒 ?
高明盡處悠然

飄起千古的夢,

极目遠眺
四大虛空。

.

吊起的心,

勾起的念,

執起的筆

沒章法的字

.

五指力齊
懸肘吊腕
中空若無
白玉不啄的心

凝神定靜
十年一劍
把鋒芒磨斷
迴鋒處

俯首屈身

往下爬的路
斷了綫的弦

沒有迥嚮的韻

攤开一卷空白
垂肩懸肘
捉襟度歲

.

年年難過越過
冷眼白眼青眼细眼
眉峰轉處正迥鋒
莫負平生
休白描脂粉紅粧
潑出去肝膽平生
鐵勒銀勾
逆風煉就
力透紙背
不禁風的心磨劍

.

提得起的筆

放得下的我

潑出去的情

磨血成墨
任意揮寫大地
待淚痕乾透
如許嫵媚
無墨的大潑墨
無心的真心
蓋一枚老師傅的心印
從來秘印
印在心頭
不著墨時方著墨
不求筆法始傳神
筆下留情
情深幾許
還汝初心
空餘虛白

April 10, 2007

Subtlety of Brush Stroke Painting

(To the old master who left me his brushes)

The brushes of the old master waited
In a room filled with dusts
For the fingers
to follow
The subtle mind

Of a masterInvisible to the eyes

.
Who are you ?
Gripped by five fingers
A brush dangling in air
Concentrated
In one pointed mindfulness
Purity
In the mind
Reminiscent of a white jade
Never crafted.

Sharpening your sword
For more than ten years
Sharpen it

Until the blade is broken
While you bend lower and lower.

Climbing social ladder
Downward,

plunge into nothingness
Neither crafting nor manipulating
You hollow your armpits and drop your hands
.

It is the whole

Posture for holding the brush
Centered, free from
the egoPoor as poor can beA life without a face.

Starred at by cold eyes, pity eyes,
Disgraceful eyes, eyes too small
To transcend a mountain
Painted with eye brows
turned to opposite direction
Not outlining with cosmetic or fashion
.
Pour your guts out
Into history
A brush stroke dances freely
A brush stroke dipped in blood
Practiced patiently
With insults and humiliations
.

The brush stroke penetrates

The back of the paper
Is a blade sharpen
with millennium of exhausted bones

Nameless
Dipped in blood
spilled on mother earth

dried gradually

.

Catches the eyes with simplicity
Blood as ink

Honesty is a manifesto

Hung up in the sky.

At the corner, stamped a seal,

The mind of the master
Always a secret
transmitted from heart to heart
.

Painting from the heart

without trying

to be anything.In synchrony with the master
Genuine in oneself
.

Compassionate for every stoke
And everyone
You loveForever

with nothing
.

Always a blank page
A master piece


Translated April 10, 2007

Cornelius Eady's Poem & translation

Cornelius Eady at a reading

Composite - a poem by Cornelius Eady, translated by Stephanie

(See original English Poem below )

.

有物混成

這紙上的英雄不是我吧 !
我只不過是一陣迷思, 也許是一個答案 !
此際, 滿眼的燈柱貼滿我的臉
黏在透明膠板上
我的前額

被圖釘釘死

在帽子上。


我就在這兒，其實我從未到過
我是這一扇敞開的門, 從這兒走出去
誰可相依。
這一刹那, 我坦然迫視
你眼神深處
透露在告示版與樹與樹之間


紙上的我, 到處都是

暴風雪般的召喚。


你看, 我偏偏出現
在最不經意的地方,
例如你想買牛奶,

或者,你想洗車,
或者, 你要寄信,

我會撲上去, 全力以赴,
你可以這樣看我, 一直盯我, 可是你找不到我。
蘇姍就這樣在鄰里間丟失了我,
她是這樣冷冷的
一張再也找不到的
嚇人的臉

April 9, 2007 translated by Stephanie Chin

Composite(by Cornelius Eady)

I am not the hero of this piece.
I am only a stray thought, a solution.
But now my face is stuck to lamposts, glued
To plate glass, my forehead gets stapled
To my hat.

I am here, and here I am not.
I am a door that opens, and out walks
No-one-can-help-you.
Now I gaze, straight into your eyes,
From bulletin boards, tree trunks.

I am papered everywhere,
A blizzard called
You see what happens ?
I turn up when least expected.
If you decide to buy some milk,

If you decide to wash your car,
If you decide to mail a letter,

I might tumbleweed onto a pant leg.
You can stare, and stare, but I can't be found.
Susan has loosed me on the neighors,
A cold representative,
The scariest face you could think of.

(from the book Brutal Imagination)

找一個人 Looking for Someone

Cornelius and Kari


(see English version at the bottom)

.

他笑得比昔日燦爛
Kari 說Galway Kinell 的生日会裡

有一个頭上頂着光環

不知是誰的帥哥

叫她眼前發亮走過去,

.

這秒鐘

遇上我的短訊:
“替我找一个叫 Cornelius Eady的人,告訴他我想他 !”

“哈哈，你怎麽知道這是我要找的人 ?”
Kari 和我同時通話。

“他說你好嗎 !”
“我說我想他 !”
“哈哈, 他正在看你的短訊 !"

他說他病好了一切都不一樣
他說他会活得更好
更珍惜眼前人
他說
他依然樂意接生我的詩
告訴我我有足夠的文字
給死魚般的我打強心針

在[詩歌中心]每天相處
我確實不懂, 不懂他和他的
關懷、鼓励、和眼前

說走便走
說回來便回來
笑靨如昨
我算什麼 ?

.

晚來比不來要好的文字工人
自以為不會寫詩,

全靠他說 "你成的" 的笨瓜

還有十多廿年來透過這個那個

包括他老婆莎拉
"告訴他我想念他"

.

今天一定親自給打電話 !

.

April 8, 2007

.

Looking for Someone

.

He has a smile bigger than ever.
At Galway Kinell’s birthday party
Kari said there is a handsome man with a halo
Catches her eyes
Who is he ?
She is going over

While a SMS comes unexpectedly,
“Please find someone called Cornelius Eady for me
and tell him I miss him.”

“Ha, ha…how do you know this is the one I am looking for ?”
Over the phone both of us ask.

“He says hi !”
“I say I miss him.”
“Ha, ha...he is reading your SMS !”

He said he has recovered and life is not the same,
He said he will live a better life,
He said he treasures everyone,
He said

He still baby sits my poems
And tells me my language is fine
And wakes up the dead fish in me.

Together at the Poetry Center

I did not see things in front of my eyes

of him and what he did
care, encouragement, and

departure without turning my head,
And coming back upon a request,
And he is still as sweet as forever.
Who am I ?

A language worker not knowing how to write
except him saying “You can”
Better late than never
To tell someone how he is missed
via this person that person
including his wife Sarah

Tonight, I must give him a call.


April 8, 2007